Question: Are you in a relationship? Answer: It's complicated! That seems to be the popular response nowadays amongst people who are in relationships. I'm not sure when, where, or even why this answer was used but I find it pretty interesting.
We were created for relationships (friendships, dating, & marriage) with each other. I wonder if we are complicating our relationships. Are we making our relationships, especially dating relationships, more complicated than they need to be? I think we are.
I wasn't raised in church. Therefore, I wasn't taught that sex is more than a physical encounter. I wasn't taught that sex was more than an activity. As I look back on my life one question comes to mind. Has my life been easier or more complicated as a result of premarital sex? Of course, my answer would be the latter and not the former.
Truthfully, we don't need to believe that the Bible is true to know that premarital or extra marital sex doesn't make our lives easier. All you have to do is look at your life and ask the same question. All you have to do is look at our society and ask if it's making marriages last longer. There's a whole list of questions that can be asked about our society. I doubt very many of them would be answered positively.
When we reflect on our current culture we can easily see that our sex has made our lives more complicated. Tiger Woods would be a prime example. One of the world's most adored athlete's life was brought down in flames because of extra marital sex. If Woods were to answer our question, what do you think he would say? I doubt he would say that his life is easier. If this causes the break up of his family then this will affect him in the later stages of his life.
The Woods story is just one of many that have surfaced over the years. Unfortunately, we don't see that sex before marriage doesn't make our lives more complicated now. In most cases it affects us in later stages of our lives. What we do or did in our teens, twenties, and thirties can come back to haunt us in twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and even sixties.
Sex within God's design can be truly amazing. His design was for us to enjoy sex within the context of a committed relationship called marriage. God's design for sex was not for the context of a complicated relationship called dating or friend with benefits. His idea for sex was show how a man and a woman can create an intimate connection through a physical activity. The act of sex begins with the physical connection and then it extends to a spiritual, emotional, and mental connection. It's the deepest connection we can make with the opposite sex.
Life gets complicated when we make these connections with many different people. It's very hard to break these connections or bonds once they are formed. We carry this bonds into our future relationships. We call this relational baggage. Hurts or pain from past relationships is the reason we guard ourselves in new relationships. Each connection we make outside of marriage causes our intimacy factor for our spouse to become lower and lower and lower. If you're married and are struggling with an intimate connection with your spouse, then premarital sex may be the reason. Again, our lives were affected in a different stage of our lives. Unfortunately, it is affecting the marriage stage of our lives.
At least this has been my experience in life. What has been your experience? Has sex before marriage made your life easier or more complicated?
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