A time for everything

Recently, I found myself in a position where I strongly disagreed with a speaker during a learning session. After asking a clarifying question, I sat in silence, even while being given the opportunity to share my thoughts. Most people probably would've responded by sharing their opinions on the subject. It's not like I didn't have an opinion. In fact, I had a strong opinion on the topic. It was strong enough that my heart began to race a little. The situation caused me to feel a sense of tension, but I still declined to share my thoughts.

When the session ended, a table mate admitted his surprise at my silence when given the opportunity to share. I was surprised by my response too! After thinking about it quickly, I responded to my table mate by stating that I wasn't in a good position to give my opinion due to the heightened emotions I was feeling at the time. I also got the sense that the speaker was heightened emotionally due to his, as I felt, defensive posture and response to my question. Two heightened emotionally young leaders were heading for a head on collision in front of about 40 people. One of us had to stop. I decided it would be me.

I decided to restrain my opinion until the emotional reaction, my heart racing, stopped. You see, when emotionally heightened I can come of as combative, aloof, and argumentative. This is especially the case when I'm passionate about a topic. I've been told a time or two or three that I lack couth and can be like a bull in a china shop. So, at first, I felt like a wimp for not standing up for what I believed. My combative mind has a way of making me feel emotions like this. Then I resolved in my mind that I would look for an opportunity to engage the speaker one on one.

By the end of the day, no other opportunities presented itself. I was sort of bummed but I hadn't given up. Then it happened. The speaker opened a door that I eventually kicked in by announcing he would give us his card for further discussions. So, there was my opportunity and I wasn't going to let this one pass by. I plan on having further discussions with the speaker at a later time. As I got his business card, I made it clear to him that I do have thoughts about his topic and wanted to share my thoughts at a later date. He graciously agreed to meet with me later.

If you follow me on Twitter (@Andre_Jenkins) or are a Facebook friend (kingkrill), then you may already know that the topic was starting new churches that are multicultural versus creating churches that are for one culture. As a multicultural church starter, this is one of my biggest passions. Again, it's hard for me to be quiet about my passionate topics. There were many factors that contributed to my decision to be silent. One being the timing of the conversation. I didn't feel like the environment was conducive to having such a heated discussion, especially since both of us seemed to be heightened emotionally. I really didn't want to come off as the angry black guy because I don't think the conversation would've gone well. So, I opted for better time and place. On the surface, it seems like a good, wise decision but that remains to be seen. History tells us if we're wise or foolish. I'll keep you posted on the results of our discussion. Until then, I have a few questions for you.

How have you experienced bad timing in your own life? What are some of the positive results of having good timing? Did I wimp out or make a wise move?

Crossroads Vineyard Church